Garden Update: IT'S ALIVE!!!

It’s been a month since I planted my little experimental/plant killer rehab garden and it’s time for an update!

Let the record show that I have been dedicating a minimum 2 hours a week to garden maintenance – which is what I’d planned on in the first place.  I must, however, credit my newly unemployed state for allowing me that time.  I’m not entirely convinced that if I didn’t have my days free for garden folly that the poor venture would be surviving in its current state.

Okay, caveat completed, here’s an update:

I’m fairly certain that my garden plot was grass last year so part of me wants to blame it’s slowness on a lack of soil nutrients.  More likely is the fact that I went to Halifax for a week right after planting and it was probably the nicest week of the season so far.  Either way, my garden is looking a little stunted compared to others.

My Garden - look reeeeeaaaaal close. There's stuff growing, I swear.

On the success side of things lie the pumpkins and squash.  I’ve got one strong looking pumpkin coming up and what seems to be like more and more squash plants popping up every day.  It’s a good thing I didn’t give up on them because it took a solid 3 weeks for any signs of life to show there.  

Pumpkin!

 

And count another success on the tomato front.  My heirloom Beefsteak tomato plant, which I thought I’d lost to frost, has miraculously come back to life thanks to some rain.  The other plants are pretty bushy despite my trimming efforts but everyone else’s tomatoes seem to be doing the same thing so I’m not quite worried yet.

Spinach seems to be the clear winner for me at this point.  I’ve even harvested some already so score one for the early harvest!

Spinach!

Everything else is growing veeeeerrrrryy sloooooooowly compare to the other gardens which look this:

Apparently I should be growing potatoes...

The weeds are growing though.  They’re growing like crazy.  That’s where my 2 hours a week goes.  Weeding.  Holy moly.  But if butt muscles from squatting in the dirt count as success, then count one for that.

No One Wants Your Used Crap – And Other Garage Sale Lessons

It’s that time of year.  The leaves are out, the birds are singing, and people everywhere are trying to unload their worthless crap on others.  Yes, it’s garage sale season.  I have very mixed feelings about the phenomenon that is the garage sale.  On one hand, it’s a great exercise in re-use - all those bargain hunters giving a second life to all that unwanted stuff; the treasures waiting to be discovered.  On the other hand they kind of make me sick to my stomach.  If there is a hell, I’m certain that there is a special level where there’s a garage sale everyday (it’s probably near the top so it’s accessible to people who think that garage sales are DA BOMB).  

I’d managed to avoid helping my mother with any of her previous garage sale attempts – which is quite the feat considering what a champion manipulator she is.  My mother has a serious hoarder tendency and with my sister’s impending move to Vancouver this fall, she and I decided to take some covert action while Mother is on holidays and hold a garage sale with the goal of divesting the family of the excessive piles of crap that have accumulated over the years.  It taught me a couple of things that I’d like to share so that you too can learn from this horrific experience.

Garage Sale Lesson #1 – No One Wants Your Used Crap

Let’s face facts, People.  No one wants your used crap.  Well, some people do – but they only want the weirdest stuff and they probably want it for free.  But seriously, many people have a serious aversion to buying used goods.  It probably doesn’t help that most of the items that end up in garage sales really belong in the garbage, but just take a look at any thrift store and you’ll see what I mean.  There is more used crap out there than there are people to buy it.  I had a chance to attend the first day of the Edmonton Waste Management Centre of Excellence Conference in May where one of the presenters shared the fact that approximately 70% of goods donated to second-hand stores ends up land-filled.  There just aren’t enough people to buy all of it.

This, of course, brings up some pretty philosophical questions about our consumer habits (like why do we buy all this shit in the first place?) which could be (and probably has been) a master’s thesis.  

Garage Sale Lesson #2 – There’s a fine line between “saving for reuse” and “hoarding like a crazy person”

My mother excels at re-use.  I suppose I could learn a thing or two about the 2^nd most important R from her, but there is such a thing as taking things too far.  For instance, why use the lovely re-usable aluminum water bottle that your daughter brought home from a conference when you can carry around an old mustard jar as a water bottle?  Or, why throw out this 1980’s crib when someone might be able to use it 30 years later?  BECAUSE IT’S NO LONGER SAFE IS WHY!!!!  (Also, see lesson #1).

Uh, I think the only person who still wants to play with this doll is Chucky.

Sorry.  I let my frustrations get the best of me for a second there.  Don’t get me wrong –
re-use is an important aspect to living a greener existence, but if your kitchen counter is so covered with old margarine containers and empty jam jars that the space is no longer useable, it might be time to let a couple of those bad boys go to the big recycling depot in the sky. 

The key part of the word re-use for me is USE.  If you’re not actually going to re-USE an item, then let it go.  My sister is a much better example of a re-user and I’m sure she learned some of her mad skills from dear old mum, but even she knows that if your living space starts looking like a trash heap, you’ve got to make some changes.  Or maybe become a mixed media artist and actually use the friggin’ shit.

Handsome example of reuse of old refrigerator drawers by Edmonton craft artist Roxanne Nesbitt

Garage Sale Lesson #3 – Anything you buy becomes instantly worthless the moment you pay for it

Okay, let’s talk economics.  One thing my mom never quite seems to grasp (aside from #’s 1 and 2) is that you will never recover the money that you paid for an item, no matter the condition on garage sale day.  She, and many other people I know, have a hard time letting go of stuff because she can’t handle the fact that stuff becomes nearly worthless the instant you buy it.  

When I was a kid, my mom used to take my sister and I on epic sale adventures.  My mom would go anywhere to catch a sale.  She’d buy in bulk – even if we didn’t really need the items (sound like something trendy today?  Cough, extreme couponing, cough).  She’d call it an ‘investment’.  Fact of the matter is that almost no consumer good out there appreciates in value.  Just as a new car depreciates the moment you drive it off the lot, so does everything else.  Resale value of that $50 coffee table book you just bought on Amazon – 50 cents.  Maybe a $1 or $2 if you’re lucky.  Those fancy dishes you asked for in your wedding registry – hell, I can get that shit at Value Village for $5.  

Garage Sale Lesson #4 – Garage Sales are a Waste of Time and Money

In some cases, your stuff could be costing you money.  This is especially true if you think about the opportunity costs of hosting a garage sale.  If you’re doing things on the level, you’ll probably need a license (requirements and costs depend on your jurisdiction).  Then you’ll need signs to direct suckers, I mean bargain hunters, to your sale – that means signage materials or premade signs.  Then you need labels for all your crap – more dinero.  

And then there’s your time.  How much is your time worth to you?  Consider what you make an hour.  There’s no way in hell that you’re going to make that in a weekend sitting on a lawn chair in your garage.  Even if you make an awesome haul and get rid of tons of stuff (which you probably would have had to pay for someone else to take away), you will never ever make as much as you could have doing something more productive.

Garage Sale Lesson #5 – Avoid Garage Sales at All Costs AKA Buy Less Stuff

I’ve recently discovered that I don’t want to turn out like my mom.  And by recently I mean it’s been my life goal since I was maybe 10 years old.  What I’ve actually recently discovered is that I don’t want my life to revolve around my stuff.  I really need very little to survive in this world beyond food, shelter and a little self actualization.  None of that really requires a lot of stuff.  So I’ve been challenging myself to live with less.  That means making a conscious effort to curb my spending on consumer goods including – gasp! – shoes, my one mortal weakness.  I hope that by reminding myself of this horrific garage sale experience I can avoid ever having to do it again.  And as green as re-use and buying second hand can be, buying less crap in the first place aka reducing is definitely greener.

Confessions of a PLANT KILLER!

Part of my battle to live a greener existence is my talent for killing plants.  I often try and fail at maintaining houseplants and I’m certain that I’m not alone.  But I can’t help but continue my efforts.  There’s something so creepy about living in a space that doesn’t have anything alive in it other than its occupants.  Plants make my rented apartment feel a little more homey and not quite so temporary.  I hope that by learning to keep houseplants, I'll learn some transferable green thumb skills to help me grow more of my own food.

Despite my best intentions, I don’t always succeed.   The garden experiment is part of my road to recovery as a plant killer (although that’s not going so well – more to come).  Another part of it is a quest to green up my home life with an indoor herb garden.  For some, this is an easy feat.  For me, it is an exercise in will.

When I first moved into my apartment last year, I was determined to have a mini herb garden.  I had grand ambitions with eco features in mind.  Instead of purchasing pots for my herbs, I fashioned my own by using a can opener to remove the tops of pop cans and planted my seeds.  I excitedly watched my herbs sprout and then proceeded to kill them.  Too much water, then too little water, too little space and then eventually, complete disinterest.  A bona fide recipe for disaster.

This year was supposed to be different.  I’ve managed to keep a houseplant alive for 2 years now and I was confident that there’d be hope for me.  But alas, another green fail.  I remain a plant killer.

It all started off so well…

The herb garden went from the simple basil, parsley, chive trio to a rather ambitious array of things I don’t even know what to do with.  I blame the lovely ladies at the Glen View Greenhouse south of Miquelon Lake for the extra encouragement and excellent sales job.

English Thyme and Peppermint - Before

The massive herb invasion included: 2 pots of basil, 1 Italian parsley, 1 English thyme, 1 Greek Oregano, 1 Chocolate Mint, 1 Peppermint, 1 Lemon Balm, 1 Lemon Verbena.  I’m also attempting chives from seeds and a pot of parsley from seeds that ended up getting planted before my epic trip to the greenhouse.  I really don’t know what I’m going to do with it all but at least my apartment will smell awesome – if I can keep them alive.

The first casualties have been the thyme and peppermint.

After : (

Unfortunately I was overzealous and had them situated in my west facing front window which gets lots of sun.  Too much sun apparently.  I returned home from a trip to Halifax (only 4 days!!!) to find them completely fried.  My attempts to resuscitate them have been, so far, unsuccessful.

I supposed I can also count the chives as a casualty since they haven’t bothered to sprout.

Everything else seems to have survived so I guess it counts only as a partial fail.  And I have managed to use my fried herbs even if the plants are dead.  But it’s not what I had in mind and certainly not exactly the best way to start things off…

Are you a plant killer?  Have you tried to rehabilitate yourself?